Few parenting topics spark more debate than whether kids should be paid for household chores. Ask ten parents and you'll get ten different answers—and each one has research backing their view.
The truth? Both sides make valid points. The "right" answer depends on what lessons you want to prioritize. Here's a breakdown of each approach, followed by a hybrid solution that most families find works best.
Side 1: Don't Pay for Chores
The argument: Chores are family responsibilities. Everyone contributes because that's how families work. Paying for them creates a transactional relationship and teaches kids they should only help when there's money involved.
Arguments for this approach:
- Teaches that family contribution is expected, not optional
- Avoids "what's in it for me?" mentality
- Some tasks (like basic hygiene, making your bed) shouldn't be negotiable
- Prevents kids from refusing chores when they don't need money
- Real life: You don't get paid to do your own laundry as an adult
Research support: Studies show kids who do unpaid chores develop a stronger sense of family belonging and are more likely to help others without expecting reward.
Side 2: Pay for Chores
The argument: Paying for chores teaches the foundational lesson that work creates income. Kids need to learn the work-earning connection before entering the workforce, and chores are the perfect training ground.
Arguments for this approach:
- Teaches direct cause-and-effect: effort → reward
- Provides real money for practicing money management
- Creates natural motivation to complete tasks
- Mirrors real-world employment relationships
- Kids learn to evaluate if work is "worth it"
Research support: Financial literacy studies show kids who earn money through work (vs. receiving unconditional allowance) make more thoughtful spending decisions and value money more.
The Verdict: Both Are Right
Here's the thing: both sides are teaching important values. The question isn't which is "correct"—it's which values you want to emphasize.
Unpaid chores teach:
- Family responsibility
- Intrinsic motivation
- Community contribution
- Character over reward
Paid chores teach:
- Work-earning connection
- Financial management
- Value of effort
- Economic participation
The good news? You don't have to choose just one.
The Hybrid Solution (Our Recommendation)
Most family experts recommend a hybrid approach that teaches both family responsibility AND the work-earning connection:
The Two-Tier System
Tier 1: Family Contributions (Unpaid)
Basic tasks everyone does as a family member. No negotiation, no pay.
Tier 2: Extra Jobs (Paid)
Optional tasks beyond the basics that earn money. Work more = earn more.
Why the hybrid works:
- Kids learn that some contributions are expected simply because they're family
- They also learn that extra effort creates extra earning opportunity
- Creates consistent baseline while allowing entrepreneurial earning
- Mirrors adult life: you do your own housework AND work a job for income
Implementing the Hybrid System
The Bottom Line
There's no universally "right" answer to whether you should pay for chores. What matters is being intentional about what you're teachingand being consistent with whatever system you choose.
The hybrid approach gives you the best of both worlds: kids who understand family responsibility AND kids who understand that work creates income. It's not about being right—it's about raising capable, responsible humans.